A few of you have asked me why I hadn’t blogged about dating in a while, well…when you read the below you will see why I take breaks in the dating world haha. That, and I have been busy. But being that it is a new year and there are tons of countdowns and lists (people love lists) I decided to blog about my Top Dating moments of 2014. People–I can’t make this shit up.
Bring on 2015!!!
5. The time I left in the middle of a drunken date who invited his friend along on our date.
Once I went on a date and the guy got really, really drunk, invited his friend to join us, who then met us at J Black’s for dinner (after the first bar and a few drinks). Then sat with me, then sat with his friend, sat with me and sat with his friend…going back and forth of watching sports and eating with me. I didn’t know what the hell to do. He ordered me a vodka red bull when I told him I wanted a water and it was the first date I have ever left in the middle of. Amen.
4. The time the guy insulted my clothing within first 5 seconds of meeting.
I went on a date and when I picked up the guy (because he didn’t want to wait at the restaurant we had originally picked-despite it being a Friday at 7-and I was in my car still so I picked him up on the way to somewhere new). When he got in the car his first words were: Are those your pants? Me: Yes, they are printed leggings, they’re in right now (chipper mood). Him: Are they pajama pants??? (puzzled and judgy) Me: No, they’re leggings, girls wear them all the time (less chipper mood now). Him: Well I hope they don’t make those for guys. Me: (annoyed severely) Well, they don’t so don’t worry about it. The date should have ended then, because it just got worse.
3. The time the guy brought his “fail save” on our date.
One time I went on a date to Red’s Porch (Despite telling him I wasn’t drinking during the weekdays, he still insisted on me meeting him there, and I think he had already started early at Plucker’s). So I did. We chatted and sat at the bar, somewhat watching TV. About 40min. into the date and chatting, he turns to the guy on the other side of him and says, “Ashley meet Mike, Mike meet Ashley. Mike is my fail save in case my dates suck.” Speechless. Completely speechless. Does this mean I was sucking? Or was he just tired of ignoring his friend? Never saw him again.
2. The time the guy didn’t stop talking about himself
I once had a date where me, YES TALKATIVE ME could barely get two words in. The guy really, really liked talking about himself and his career and how he knows everything about sports and he is a nice guy. Fact: Guys who are nice guys NEVER have to say “I’m a nice guy.” They just are-and you pick up on it. The best part of this date was the fact he was bragging he was a collegiate athlete (who only played freshman year and injured himself his sophomore year) and his GPA was a 2.5. Wow, you sure know how to impress a girl, tell me more about your ATM Corpus days. (No, I am not knocking his college or the fact he played sports-that’s great, but is that really something to brag about on date one?) Pro: He did pay for our date and that rarely happens.
Drum roll please…..(the suspense) and the #1 Date moment of Ashley’s 2014 was this.
1. The time the guy said my hands were big…and then some…
The same guy as moment #3 (surprise, surprise) was on a roll that night. He noticed my knuckles had marks on them. I explained that I did kickboxing and recently got new gloves-leaving my knuckles bloody, I realized it was unattractive but not much I could do. He then grabbed my hand and picked it up to compare with his. “Wow you have big hands.” He said. (and I do). “Those would make my dick look small.” Date over.