Monthly Archives: January 2016

What I am Hearting: the Hello 2016 Edition

Oh my my, it has been a while since my last blog post. I am sorry I have failed you readers (all 4 of you).

So we are off to a new year. Hello 2016…

Year after year I try this whole “I am going to start doing ___” I am going to _________ (drink more water, lose weight, floss more, be more positive)” blah blah blah (the usual for me)

Change is hard, yet it is something I am constantly striving  to do. (or perhaps not change completely, but “better myself” is a better description). I can’t help but to reflect at the end of the year and ask myself “What can I do better? Or differently? and Is that what I really want?” even though I think resolutions are somewhat silly.

Which leads me to one of my 2016 goals-be more consistent in my writing. I am not really sure why I want to be more regimented with it. But consistency and this outlet is nice. So here we go.

FINALLY…here’s a few things I am hearting this month.


(Infamous heart photo–this one is from Nov. 2015 Central America trip)

1. Happy Jar.

Last year I kept a jar in my living room. A gold spray painted mason jar that I labeled “2015.” Next to it was some cut up pieces of (scrapbook) paper. Every time something good happened-big or small…I wrote it down.


“A few of them read: A girl at the gym today told me I looked really pretty especially for not having any make up on.” You may see this as a slight back-handed comment, I will take it.

“Closed on my home, drank Dom’, went to happy hour with the bestie at Bess’ Bistro, then Aziz Ansari’s book signing, today was a great day.”

And here’s another one below about being an Auntie.




(obligatory bragging on cute nephew pic)

I read them (some aloud, some to myself) on New year’s day with some friends. One friend said they were going to implement this with their team at work to read at the end of the quarter to celebrate. Not a bad idea.

I read an article last year regarding “practices and habits of some of the top business women” and most of them started their day with a gratitude journal, meditating or some type of healthy breakfast or a morning jog/yoga sesh. Since I am not a super early riser nor a meditator…and I did Yoga twice all of last year… I opted for gratitude. I truly believe people who give and who are thankful for what they have are more happy, and I’d say despite the occasional downs here and there, I am doin’ just fine.

2016 Goal: Favorite moment of the day book.

I bought my friend a “Favorite moment of the day Journal” and I wish I would have picked one up for myself, now. However, I grabbed a little journal and each night write a favorite moment. Fortunately, I am day six in, each entry there has been more than one favorite moment for the day. I challenge you to do something similar.

2. Feng Shui

Some of my very first clients I ever worked with were VERY into Feng Shui. At the time I remember thinking it was kind of peculiar. We could pull up to a house and they knew instantly- “let’s skip this one.” However, they were successful. They were at peace. They were happy.  So, my mama got me a book for Christmas this year on de-cluttering and Feng Shui-ing my home. I am on day three of rearranging. I see it’s purpose. Some of it sounds wacky, but I have several more chapters to go.


It does NOT work like this “I put purple in the prosperity corner of my home, should get a check in the mail any day now” but more of: when you do things with intent, those things will come to you because our minds are very powerful (and this coincides with another favorite book of mine The Secret and maybe my “sales- like/positive thinking/write down your goals/surround yourself by those who you want to be like and will lift you up” mindset).

Feng Shui tips (or skip ahead): Some things I have learned, and again this TOTALLY depends on the layout of your home…Your prosperity area should have red, coins, shiny objects, purple, water or photo of water. Your front door entry should be free of debris, well lit and inviting. You do not want mirrors or stairs facing the front from the inside. Black, white, round objects, water and some red for energy are all very inviting items to have when you walk in a home. I haven’t bought anything new for my home after reading the book, I basically walk around and note specific items and move a photo or candle here or there, or clear an area of mirrors etc.

Who knows if feng shui actually works, but it definitely couldn’t hurt, right?!

3. Celestone Soluspan-say what?

The funny (funny ironic, not funny “haha”) thing about that silly Time Hop app. is seeing that I complained about allergies last year, the year before, the year before and so forth about the same time each year… Besides traffic it is my second complaint to this wonderful city. Most of the time I wait until I am MISERABLE and head to the Redi-Clinic, barely being able to breathe and wanting to claw my eyes out-and I get a shot. This time, after a few nights of being woken up by sneezing like crazy i went in to get the steroid shot, Celestone. They looked at my chart- she said “oh you were here last year about this time” and boom, a lil shot in the butt. Am I 100%? Nah, I still take a zyrtec on really bad days, but I am 98% much better. If your insurance doesn’t cover the year round allergy shots, or you are tired of Flo-Nase, Claritin and the like, do yourself a favor and get you a steroid shot (you know, if your doc says it is cool and all).

austin allergy chart

I have more things to share but I will keep it to three. As always, thanks for reading!

My Top Dates of 2015 (that actually never happened)

Last year I wrote about my Top Dates of 2014.

And by “top” I mean, pretty awful, but always humorous events to tell about, of course…

This year I surprisingly (and thankfully) don’t have terrible dating moments to share (ask me about Molester Mike when you see me, I feel too bad blogging about this one).



NUMBER 5: Mr. Philanthropy

(He did a ton of volunteering, seemed like a nice dude). Got my number on a Sat. touching base with me, text, text blah blah, I like this, cool, I live in that part of town, blah blah…

Him: let’s get together tomorrow then?

Me: Ah, sorry I can’t plans with friends, but after?

Him: Ah, no time, but we can schedule something next week.

Him on Monday: Proposes Ice Cream at Lick off Burnet on Wednesday. (swoon, he picked a place I was going to be near and didn’t pussy foot, but made a plan)

Me: Cool, that works, see you there, blah blah blah, texty text, blah blah things we both have in common yadda yadda

Him on Tuesday 10:44pm: I have to cancel. I have been seeing a woman that I want to move forward with, best of luck!

Me: Cool, thanks for being up front, good luck to you too.

SIDE NOTE: Is this what guys say now instead of the truth? Is this what he really meant:

“Hey gotta cancel, I can tell I am actually not that interested in you and I just matched up with a chick that’s way hotter”

“Hey you are actually pretty boring over text, so I think I am gonna pass”

I will take the “moving on, good luck” over the actual truth, I guess. Just don’t ghost me-man that is annoying.

winston churchill quote


(If you have read my past blogs you know my hatred for “lol”) Mr. LOL gets my digits on a Wednesday…it’s honestly irrelevant, but I will tell you we lasted until a Sunday, no date ever planned…but I think I am ok with that.

The next series are his responses/comments in our textversation (literally I am scrolling down and typing in his answers) this guy has so much to talk about ya’ll, I tried, I really did: (note any grammatical mistakes are not on my part, I am doing this verbatim, but he wasn’t that bad, actually).

lol youre so tough.

Lol youre so traditional

That’s sexy to me (no I didn’t send him nudes,  I told him I was somewhat traditional)

Again, I know how to treat a woman you’ll see

I think it’s 50/50

should be

Lol so does attitude

(sends me a photo of a weird seal making a face-I think he’s trying to be funny, it does not pertain to our convo) I ask him if he had plans this weekend –and next few responses:

Lol not really and you?


Still playing (he is referring to me asking him how his poker game is going)

Lol calm down (I joked no cell phones at the poker table)

I won!

Lol ugh


And then he sent me a photo in the bathroom, with a backward caps lifting his shirt up showing me his flexed abs.

I will stop there. That’s all you really need to know.

(SIDE NOTE: 25 Things Men in their 30s need to STOP doing)

i hate lol

NUMBER 3: Mr. Nanna Helper

Started texting me on a Saturday. Blah blah blah from Austin, family here, has a business dealing with real estate blah blah blah commonalities, that’s cool, oh you like doing stuff to your house me too, blah blah text text text. Let him go, had dinner plans. Seemed like a good ol boy, which I liked.

Him Sunday: Good Morning! Happy Sunday! Blah blah, text, text, told him about news I got that day, blah blah, texty text banter.

Monday: Hey How’s it going, just helping out my Nanna, she lives down the street from me.

Me: I am off to the gym, but let’s chat later. I follow up. Blah blah gym was brutal…

Him: Blah blah I think I am getting sick blah blah what are you up to?

Me: researching vacations blah yadda yadda.. where to go, I love travel (it was late)

Tuesday HIm: Follows up on travel conversation, says he has only been to Mexico.

Me: It happens, do you have the desire to travel more?

Never heard from him again. Awesome.

NUMBER 1: Mr. Eureka

Met a guy when we were out-left him my number. He followed up and it was before I was going out on the lake, so I told him if he could be at Hula Hut in an hour, he could come with. He did, it was fine. Ate dinner with us (left wallet in boat, so I paid). This was in August–it was actually on my birthday. So technically we did go out (but it was him submerged with all my friends on the lake, unsure if you call that a real date).

That night: Texted me he had fun, we should hang out some time!

Me: Yeah, I had fun too and sounds good!

Sep from him: Texty text, blah blah, how are things, we should get together some time.

Me: Yeah, sounds good.

Dec. 8, 8:31pm

Him: Whatcha doin?

Me: about to get some work done

Him: Well damn. My life is pretty 9-5 now so let’s meet up sometime soon.

Me: Nice having evenings open, huh? Sounds good

Him: Yeah for sure

Never heard from him again.

NUMBER 5: Mr. Football

Matched on Bumble (a dating app. similar to Tinder with better quality guys and girls have to write first)

Oct. 16: I opened with “which team should I pick for my win in my eliminator challenge?” and gave him the teams I was deciding between.

blah blah, chiefs, blah blah vikings, blah blah bad picks, blah, texty text, from Austin, text text I went to Tx State as well, oh cool what was your major? blah blah blah. football emjoi, hand clapping emoji,

Asked for my number Oct. 26 (yes, 10 days later) after texting pretty much daily here and there and emojid our way through conversations.

Blah blah, Oh we know the same people, blah, texty text, Austin is so small, “lol” blah, yadda yadda, thumbs up emoji, beer mug emoji, yes I go to that bar too…blah blah blah, emoji, wink face, tongue out emoji,

Last Text Sent: Nov. 5

Never had a date, nor a phone call, but we sure did “talk” a lot of football and I tip my hat to a few of his correct picks, helping me through quite a ways. I also used emojis I hadn’t before, so that was a for sure perk.

football pretty boy

And that ladies and gentleman (sorry to report, Mom and Dad) is me “dating” in 2015.

Oh wait, there is one I forgot about!

Bonus round!

I deleted him already but it basically went somethin’ like this:

Mr. Foot Fettish?

Him texting me: What do you do, what do you like to do, do you want to have kids, what do you look for in a man, blah blah blah. What made you decide to reach out to me?

I joked: I didn’t, you reached out to me. (he wasn’t really happy with that answer-we met online, he emailed me, I wrote him back).

Him: blah blah blah, California, new to Austin, yadda yadda, I live DT here, yadda yadda software sales, blah blah wine emoji, treat ladies right blah blah and we texted quite a bit that first night (as I wrote out my xmas card list and watched the Good Wife in the background). We texted about meeting up in a few days, tossed around ideas.

Him: I treat women right blah blah blah. I take care of myself and get pedis (which I have nothing against). blah blah texty text a lot, where ya from, holiday plans, blah blah, do you like what you do, where all have you traveled, airplane emoji, blah blah blah, yadda yadda,

Him some more: I lived in LA forever.

Me: Really, did you like it? I think it is kind of pretentious, but maybe I should visit again.

Him: OMG yes I love LA, it is the best you must visit again! Do you get pedis?

Me: When I can.

Him: I think you can tell a lot about a woman by the way she takes care of her feet.

Me: Well then, I think my feet say-she’s a hard working woman that doesn’t make time for a pedi sometimes. haha

Him: Send me a picture

Me: No, I am busy

Him: Come on, if you don’t send me a pic, I am not taking you out on a date.

Me: I am not sending you a photo of my feet. I actually still have boots on anyway.

Him: Well no date and wine for you until you send me a picture of those feet.

Me: Ok

–And that was that, never got that wine–

foot fettish

(come on, I had to post that image above, too funny, thanks Google images)

You are welcome.

Bring on 2016…and the dating revelations (inspired by Aziz) I will attempt to put into play.

Dating Revelations Inspired by Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance

So, last year (and as in year’s pasts) I write about dating in this glorious city of Austin, TX.


Last year I wrote about what makes a good first date (to me) Part 1… Naturally life got busy and I never wrote my “Part 2” which was going to be more so of what NOT to discuss on a date etc. (to be continued in a few months I’m sure)

HOWEVER, after that blog post Aziz Ansari’s Modern Romance book came out. I ordered a copy off Amazon and I went to the book promo tour when he came through Austin, since Austin is supposedly the 6th Best City for Singles (speaking of which-Brent and Jaimee you both still have my copies and I did not forget!) I read the book fairly quick.

I found each chapter VERY similar to what my dating situation had been like (as well as many others) and I even put it on my list of things I was hearting back in June, here.


So, my last post about a good first date in sum was: I don’t want to do putt putt, I don’t want to kayak on town lake, I don’t want to do dinner, or alcohol. Let’s just go to coffee and I will know within ten minutes if I like you or not. A girl has to have sparks, and I know pretty quickly if I want another date.

Weeelllll, Modern Romance had a few revelations I would like to share with you (that I have been trying to implement myself).


(Aziz did not give me permission to use the above image, but he should be happy I am totally promoting his book, also you need to watch Netflix’ Master of None).

Basically Aziz had a good point and I am paraphrasing him speaking in a nerdy like monotone voice at his book promotion tour sarcastically imitating a first date “So nice to meet you…where are you from?… Oh cool, yeah… I went to school here and I used to live there …and cool, yeah I work here…yeah cool city…yeah traffic sucks… and I may travel there and cool. Yeah my parents do this and they live here and…(cuts to normal Aziz voice and reiterates to crowd): You are not having good dates because you are not doing fun stuff, you are basically doing an interview and interviews suck!!”

Damn, Aziz. The man had a point. And here all I wanted to do is sit across from a guy and see if he fit the mold of what I thought I was looking for (in addition to making me laugh of course).

So what did Modern Romance teach us about what kind of dates we should be going on?

Revelation #1: Quit going on lame ass dates!

(Literally I think that is the name of the chapter). Go on Fun dates! Do something different! NOT coffee, not dinner (especially at the same place a block from your house that you make all your dates meet you there). Something out of the comfort zone. (Think of that Bachelor episode where they go bungee jumping together…no prob and sounds cheap too ha)

I am not sure about you, (and I consider myself a social/adventurous person) but doing something I haven’t done with someone I haven’t ever met sounds pretty awful to me. Shit, half my single friends don’t even want to talk to “strangers” (aka other friends of mine they don’t know as well), let alone try something out of their comfort zone. However, I do think he has the right idea.

The example he gave was a man who takes a girl to a monster truck rally. 1. Plenty to watch, so not constant eye contact and convo. 2. Probably something she hasn’t done before (Side note a friend of mine said she was taken to midget mud wrestling and she was not amused-so maybe feel out your audience/date before surprising them).

moster truck rally

The second point I took from the book that I am trying to implement in my own dating life as well:

As a society we are obsessed with instant gratification and everything being ranked 9s and 10s and those of us who didn’t get married at 25 are holding out for the MOST PERFECT HUMAN BEING FOR US ever. Before we buy a blender on Amazon we sift through the reviews-“hmm this one only has 875 five star reviews, this one has 1408, I will pick that one fo sho” or “the dude spelled “definitely” wrong, NEXT!” We are quick to judge our first impressions of people.

Revelation #2: SIX OR BETTER

When you go on a date, afterward, on a scale from 1-10 if it was a 6 or higher, make another plan for a date. Sure they may have seemed a bit awkward or talked way too much about something weird, but 6 or higher!! After the second date if it  was a 6 or higher AGAIN, make ANOTHER date. You aren’t going to have a 9 or 10 first or second date. If you do, well then awesome, but to his point–we don’t really know someone and come out of our shell for a few times, so give someone a chance (or 4).

rating dating scale

I have been trying to do this, however the ball really isn’t in my court as a lady. I feel like after reading the book I have gone on several dates and thought “well, conversation was great, he seemed nice, it was a 6 or better, if he asks me out again I am open to it.” Unfortunately, they haven’t read Aziz. Or shit, maybe I was 5 or less to them. Ah, I am such a loser! Not really.

Either way, it is hard because…let me take you into my last revelation for this post…

Revelation #3: TOO. MANY. OPTIONS.

The book did a study (yes relating to jellies at a grocery store) where they followed up with people who bought a jelly from a display of 20 different types of jellies. Apple peach. Grape. Grape-berry. Apricot. Apple Blueberry. Mixed Berries…you get the idea-a bunch of freakin’ jellies. Then they followed up with the people who purchased a jar of jelly that only had maybe 5 to choose from (again paraphrasing what I remember from the book).

Get this (light bulb moment) People who had less jelly to choose from were much more satisfied. (ring tone) “Hello, remember that jelly you bought a few weeks back at our store and we asked for your info because it was part of a study with that funny little indian guy? How did you like that jelly?”

Person who chose from 20 jellies: It was ok, but I  wish I would have tried that other kind that had the berries in it (insert Debbie downer side effect here-womp womp)

Person who chose from 7 jellies: OMG this is the best damn jelly ever!! (insert Kristin Wiig Target lady all excited).

Now, I don’t know about you, but I ain’t moving back to my home town to settle down and find Mr. Right (for me) or anything. Our ADD society seems to be drawn to the next person that can answer their text or is easy on the eyes. Focus, people, focus (ok, go take your Adderall).


(PS I just googled this jelly image, I am sure it is tasty so give it a try)

Advice: instead of texting twenty people at a time and lining up 2-4 dates a week and playing the field and swiping as you are in 5 o’ clock traffic. Try deleting your dating app and not looking around for the next best thing when you haven’t given someone right in front of you a chance.

Am I guilty of this?–Totally. But it’s 2016 ya’ll, let’s start a revolution! In order to do that, you have to be willing to put yourself out there..and be awkwardly rejected via text message, so be prepared for that too. But not you-when you don’t like someone you won’t do the ghosting, you’ll be honest-and say you aren’t interested. That’s the way it needs to be done.

Now, here’s a quick read on putting yourself out there, in case you needed it (thanks LB for sending this to me and SK).

Stay tuned for my top dates of 2015. The good news is they actually don’t top my “Top Dates of 2014” post I wrote last year!…No, really it is a good thing.